Christmas by Candlelight by Karen Swan

Author:Karen Swan [Swan, Karen]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Pan Macmillan
Published: 2023-09-11T17:00:00+00:00

Chapter Fifteen

May 2014

‘I’m an arse.’

The whisper fluttered through the darkness like a bright ember, stirring her dormant mind. She became aware of a gentle movement beneath her body, a feeling of constriction against her arms.

She startled slightly, eyelids fluttering, consciousness rising and falling with her breath.

‘Shhh. It’s just me.’ His voice was so low against her ear, it tickled her.

‘Archie . . .’

‘Mm.’

‘What time is it?’

‘Late. Or early I guess—’

She remembered then, her body jolting, but his hand pressed down on her quickly. ‘She’s still sleeping, don’t worry, I’ve left the door open.’

‘. . . What are you doing here?’ Her words were slurred with sleep but she could feel, now, his arms around her.

‘Hugging you back.’

‘. . . Why?’

‘Because I was an arse. I’m sorry.’ She heard him swallow. ‘It just wasn’t how I wanted it to be.’

Her mind felt muddled. ‘How you wanted what to be?’ she mumbled. If she could move, if she could see him, then she would wake up. This might make sense. But she was pinned on her side, her duvet pulled tight and his arms heavy upon her as if holding her down in sleep. Was she dreaming? Was this a dream? Him here at last?

‘Us. Our first . . . touch.’

‘I don’t understand.’ She felt him lift her head and his arm snaked under her neck. She sank again into the pillow.

‘I didn’t want it to be tainted by what’s happened . . . I wanted something to be good, for once.’

‘. . . Oh.’ Not a dream? This couldn’t be real . . .

‘Go back to sleep,’ he whispered.

She felt herself sink into the mattress once more, barely awake but vaguely aware of the distance between them, him on the wrong side of the duvet still. ‘You’ll get cold.’

‘I’m fine.’

‘Come under the cover.’

‘No.’ He swallowed again. ‘Better not.’

‘You don’t want to.’ The words were a whisper, barely formed. This wasn’t real. She was dreaming.

‘I do.’ She heard a swallow, and then a sigh. ‘More than you know, Lib. More than you know.’

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